So, this week my goal is to start moving. I know that's technically supposed to happen in Week 3, but Week 3 was Christmas. Week 4 was New Year's. Week 6 was a major move. And Week 10 I started a new job. Excuses, excuses. So it's time to put the pedal to the metal, or sneaker to pavement, and step into gear!
I was cruising around the activity section of weightwatchers.com to try to get inspired since I've been feeling a little burnt out on my old standbys (yoga, tennis, running). Since the weather in SF is basically frigid rain and wind these days, I need an indoor activity. I hate gyms. I have a hard time committing to classes of any kind due to my erratic work schedule. And I prefer an activity that includes listening to music so I don't notice the minutes ticking by like hours. Hmm...
What about sex??? I mean, I can burn calories while enjoying physical pleasure, listen to some Al Green (or the like) and I don't even need to buy a new pair of sneakers. Genius!
Well to my dismay, according to the activity tracker on weightwatchers.com, there is no activity credit given for sex. WTH?! Sex can be much more physically taxing than an afternoon stroll through the park (1 point), a mid-morning yoga class (2 points) or a friendly game of tennis (3 points). So I've devised my own point system. It may not be sanctioned by Weight Watcher's, but by the power invested in me (which is none), I hereby present a new category of activity points... SEXERCISE!Quickie (10 minutes of moderate physical activity) - 1 point
Topsy turvy (20-30 minutes on top) - 2 points
New tricks (30-45 minutes of trying to impress a new partner with your strength or flexibility) - 3 points
OH MY GOD (45+ minutes of hair-matted-against-the-forehead-sweaty-like-a-pig-sex) - 4 points
Great! I have a plan. I will exercise. I will enjoy myself while doing it. This will be the year I hit my goal weight!
Only one small problem... I am single. And there are no prospects in sight.
Anyone know a good yoga studio in the Mission?
I love it! You should *totally* propose this new exercise point system at the meeting tomorrow night!
ReplyDeleteAlso, 20 minutes of ironing is 1 point, so if you don't find a sex partner or a yoga studio, let me know and I'll bring over my wrinkled clothes. Just tryin' to help a sista out!
no sex point? that is redonc. that's how i get all my exercise.
ReplyDeleteOr there's always vacuuming. And don't forget, your mother reads all of your blogs so you might want to think twice about posting any updates on this topic:)
ReplyDeleteThe sexual-caloric rating scale is brilliant.
ReplyDelete